Combat-ready Jesus?

I was talking to this guy once, and he didn’t know I was Jesus (I was wearing glasses), and he said that when Jesus comes back he’s going to lead an army of the righteous and take vengeance on lots of evil doers, blah blah blah. I don’t remember all the specifics of what he was saying, but I do know I heard the word “smite” several times. So basically this guy thinks that I'm going to come back and open up a can of whoop ass on people.

Like Rambo Jesus.

Just as an FYI, I’m not planning on doing anything of the sort. I mean, hello, have we met? This is Jesus here. I’m the guy who was talking all that love-thy-neighbor, turn-the-other cheek stuff. What, did you think I was just saying those things because I knew they would make good sound bites one day? Get this: I actually meant them.

You know that guy who gets along with everyone, even the people you can’t stand? I’m that guy on acid.

Loving you from here,

J.H.C.